Well, today I went to the dermatologist for the check-up on my skin conditions (the various tags they’ve given me include: severe atopic eczema, chronic hand eczema, pompholyx and contact allergic dermatitis).
Today, my hands are just about as perfect as they’re ever going to be, there’s a couple of little blisters (vesicles) on my fingers and a couple of little dry bits around the bottom of my palms into my wrists but generally, it’s pretty good and I’d be happy for it to be like this forever! Except for when I have a dermatology appointment and I need my doctor to see how bad it gets so he’ll give me the magic pills he has!
Last month my hands were in a bit of a state, and this is why I was encouraged to withdraw from my nursing degree. I’ve taken photographs of the eczema when it gets bad and the doctors have seen it occasionally when it’s been quite severe on an appointment day. A year ago, when I was first referred to this dermatologist, he told me about these seemingly magical pills, Toctino, and gave me lots of information to read and a form to sign. They were as close to a cure as I could hope for. He was all set to prescribe them to me and then stopped himself, asking whether I had tried a different, non-steroid ointment, Protopic. I had not tried it and so he prescribed the ointment and told me to give it a try.
So this was a year ago, and it doesn’t work. If anything, I think that the ointment makes it worse and I try not to use it unless the skin is broken and infected – for some reason they tell you not to use it then but that’s the only time it actually works for me! Anyway, needless to say, they’re still reluctant to give me the Toctino pills and I don’t understand why. I must have “qualified” for it when they did the scoring system otherwise they wouldn’t have dangled it in front of me, would they?
I guarantee that next week they’ll flare up again and my hands will become all bleedy and infected, but by my next appointment in July, they’ll be perfect again!
On a good note,the rest of my skin is pretty much OK, my feet are a bit dry and blistery but I can control that and it’s not really as much of a big deal on my feet because people can’t see it and I don’t have to look at it all day every day! I still get rashy around my body when I’ve been exposed to an allergen or irritant but it’s generally OK.
I guess my fate still lies in the hands of the dermatologist. Will I go back to nursing? Or will I return to my favourite past job as a barista? Or will I realise my dream of becoming a fashion designer, without worrying about snagging the silk fabrics on my dry, flaky, rough skin?
I guess we’ll have to wait and see!