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50 Shades of Porn?

I know I’m a little late with this topic (DELAY!!) but I have had strong feelings about this for quite a while now and thought it was time to put them out there.

It seems that everyone is talking about the new “must read” trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey. Now, I haven’t read them myself so if you think that means I have no right to an opinion, please leave now, because you’re not going to like what I have to say!

From what I’ve heard, from everyone who’s read them (which is just about everyone I come into contact with!) it seems that they are poorly written. I can’t say either way, because as I’ve said, I haven’t read them. They’re not my kind of thing. Aside from them being amateurish in writing style, it seems that they have no literary value. The story is said to be lacking and a phrase I have heard on more than one occasion is, “It’s basically housewife porn”.

Now forgive me for my opinions here but I can’t help but think that if a man walked around with a porno magazine in his hands, telling anyone who’ll listen how much he’s enjoying it and especially likes the bondage parts, he’d be arrested! I think it’s just the same.

I worked, in my last job, with a lady (I use the term very loosely) who was easily in her late 50s, maybe even early 60s, and she would not shut up about it. Comments she actually said were, “I had to sit on a towel because [I’m not going to type it – use your imagination]” and “I was getting myself all worked up reading it at lunchtime, I had to put it down”. Now, I’m sorry if I’m a prude but this kind of discussion is not acceptable in the workplace. How unprofessional!

I have actually caused a massive family fallout because my “auntie” (Another term I use loosely – Uncle’s second wife) had put on her Facebook status that she was looking forward to “going to bed with Mr Grey”. I commented, in a totally innocent and humourous way, with, “It’s filth!” – I assumed she knew me well enough to laugh it off. She said that I must have read it, to know that. Fair enough. I responded with, “Nah, I just work with a bunch of old pervs. Who knew so many people in England can read?!” My rationale for the first part of the comment should be obvious from the previous paragraph and the second part – well, it does seem that you never see anyone reading around here unless it’s the next big thing (Twilight, Hunger Games, Harry Potter). I am genuinely saddened that the written word is slowly being phased out.

Anyway, she reacted almost instantly, saying that I had offended her and a lot of other people. Promptly removing and blocking me on Facebook. She didn’t even give me chance to explain! Talk about immature… I mean, remove my comment if it offends you, but there’s simply no need to block me! I put something on my status about people who aren’t even family, they just married into the family, and how they need to earn respect, it isn’t just given to them. Probably shouldn’t have said it in hindsight but I needed to rant (and I’m 20 years younger than her!) but it caused a massive problem, the uncle has fallen out with me too and my Mum (his sister) has been shunned by the looks of it. I apologised for my status afterwards but it hasn’t changed anything. I won’t apologise for my comment as it obviously wasn’t aimed at her and it was obviously a joke!

No skin off my nose, they were hardly family anyway, they never made an effort and we very rarely see them.

So yes, I’m not a fan of the 50 Shades of Grey books. They’re just not my cup of tea and I don’t think the world needs another poor excuse for literature! Why don’t people look to the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Bret Easton Ellis, J.D. Salinger, or even the classics like Dickens, the Bronte sisters, Mark Twain, and what about good old Shakespeare, and William Blake, and Tennyson?!

I will stop ranting eventually, I promise!

For future reference, I will soon be posting about the Olympics, niobium, intelligence, typos, and feminism! Keep checking back!



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It’s Not a Diet, It’s a Lifestyle Change

So if you’ve been following my (ever dwindling) blog, you’ll know that Mr R&R and I have started a “healthy eating”/”weight loss” kick. firstly, let me apologise for being so distant from you all for such a long time, I have no excuse other than pure laziness and I feel that I have abandoned WordPress somewhat due to my newfound reliance upon the My Fitness Pal message boards! In honesty, I simply struggle to remember to visit more than two or three websites at any one time and now that I have joined up to Pinterest and Etsy, as well as Endomondo and MyFitnessPal, not to mention the ones I already had – Facebook, Twitter, eBay, LinkedIn, etc etc, it does get very difficult for my tiny little battered mind to process!

Anyway, enough of the groveling, if you’re here, thank you. If you have decided to leave me because I’m emotionally unavailable, I apologise and hope that we parted ways amicably.

So we started our new healthy lifestyle on 25 February I believe and so far, I have lost 4lbs and Mr R&R has lost 9.5lbs. Our weigh-in day is Saturday so I might be sat here slightly lighter but it doesn’t count ’til Saturday!

We haven’t really done anything differently. We’ve started walking more often, trying to get a little walk in every day, whether it’s over the Trans Pennine Trail or just to the supermarket (still a 2-mile round trip!). I started Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred but I was aching so much the next day that I didn’t want to do it! Mr R&R did the Insanity workout and really struggled so we’re going to start off again with the 30DS  tomorrow. I’ve had a go at Yoga too, but I fail miserably as I’m the most inflexible and balance-challenged person in the world, with no upper body strength whatsoever! I’ll keep trying though!

Food wise, we’ve not really been eating less, we’ve just been eating better. Logging our daily food (and exercise) intake on MyFitnessPal has proved very helpful, as we can see how much we’re eating and how many calories/fat/protein, etc, there are in everything we eat. I’ve discovered that I don’t take in enough “good fats” and calcium.

We bought new running shoes (I think I’ll do a post dedicated to them tomorrow – it was a bit of a kerfuffle!) and heart-rate monitors, as well as sports bras (just for me!) and ankle and knee straps (I think I’ll elaborate on that tomorrow too!)

Unfortunately I still crave chocolate, biscuits (cookies) and bread but I think that’s going to be an ongoing struggle for me! My mum shakes her head everytime I weigh out a portion of raisins or margarine and tells me “you’re fine as you are!” but it’s not like I’m doing a crash diet – it’s a lifestyle change, I don’t want to become obese and cause more strain on my heart, hips, knees, back, ankles….. I’m not undereating and I still have the occasional treats, I’m sat here right now looking at a piece of chocolate caramel shortbread that I’m going to devour with a cup of Yorkshire Tea shortly!

And yes, I might be happy being overweight but I was never truly happy. It’s all too easy to put on a smile for the world but cringe inwardly when you see yourself in a mirror (something I once loved!) or try on your favourite pair of jeans and struggle to fasten them! So yes, I’m happy, but I could be happier.


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Three Years, Baby!

So it was our three year anniversary on  Tuesday and so I thought I’d share with you our little story…

We knew each other at school. I must have been around 13 and he was around 15. We were kind of friends but not really – My best friend was going out with one of his friends so we were kind of in the same friendship circle but at opposite ends, if that makes sense.

Anyway, he disappeared after Christmas of his final year but to be honest, and this is pretty bad, I don’t think I actually realised – he never really hung out with us that much anyway, he was a bit too aloof. It was only after we re-met that I discovered he’d moved to America for a while.

Fast forward seven years and I saw him on a train and texted my friend, the same one from school, to say something along the lines of, “Guess who’s sat in front of me on the train…” – just a blast from the past kind of thing; I didn’t even speak to him.

A couple of months later I was chatting to the friend on Facebook, and she casually mentioned that she was chatting to him online too. I sent him a friend request, and she even had to tell me his name as I only knew him by his nickname! I sent a message with my request, something like, “Hey, remember me? I always said that you and [the friend] ought to have babies! :)” That was a bit of an in-joke between me and her, which he didn’t have a clue about – I’m surprised he accepted me, I must have seemed a right wierdo!

Now, I’m a bit of a loser and I’m not too scared to say what I think, so when he wasn’t accepting my friend request right away, even though I knew he was online because she was chatting to him, I told my friend to tell him to accept it, dammit! And when he did, I said, “Well it’s about time!” – apparently he was playing online poker with some friends.

I had just come out of a terrible relationship and wasn’t looking to fall in love, but that’s exactly what happened! We chatted on Facebook for a little while before moving over to MSN, which was just more user-friendly, and then, after a few hours of easy conversation, he called me and we were on the phone for a few more hours. He asked if he could take me out sometime and a couple of days later we were debating over which movie we should go see.

I had never even been on a date before and was terrified. This wasn’t just a date either, this was a reunion of sorts and now, we fondly recall how we “re-met”. We had an amazing first date and after the movie (a horror, obviously, so I could hide in his chest!) we stayed to chat before going for the last train. When we reached his stop, we weren’t quite ready to end the date so we carried on to the next town and just walked around, chatting. My friends were at home worried about me as I forgot to keep them updated – they’d never met him and were looking on his Facebook profile to see if he looked like a mad axe mudererer!

Our second date was a movie night at his place – we watched The Little Rascals, a children’s movie and it was great! We’ve been inseparable ever since and I joke that we’ve probably been together for seven years in normal dating patterns, where couples might see each other once or twice a week to begin with!

So that’s the story of me and Mr R&R!

I hope you enjoyed it! Maybe someday I’ll continue…


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