Tag Archives: harry potter

50 Shades of Porn?

I know I’m a little late with this topic (DELAY!!) but I have had strong feelings about this for quite a while now and thought it was time to put them out there.

It seems that everyone is talking about the new “must read” trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey. Now, I haven’t read them myself so if you think that means I have no right to an opinion, please leave now, because you’re not going to like what I have to say!

From what I’ve heard, from everyone who’s read them (which is just about everyone I come into contact with!) it seems that they are poorly written. I can’t say either way, because as I’ve said, I haven’t read them. They’re not my kind of thing. Aside from them being amateurish in writing style, it seems that they have no literary value. The story is said to be lacking and a phrase I have heard on more than one occasion is, “It’s basically housewife porn”.

Now forgive me for my opinions here but I can’t help but think that if a man walked around with a porno magazine in his hands, telling anyone who’ll listen how much he’s enjoying it and especially likes the bondage parts, he’d be arrested! I think it’s just the same.

I worked, in my last job, with a lady (I use the term very loosely) who was easily in her late 50s, maybe even early 60s, and she would not shut up about it. Comments she actually said were, “I had to sit on a towel because [I’m not going to type it – use your imagination]” and “I was getting myself all worked up reading it at lunchtime, I had to put it down”. Now, I’m sorry if I’m a prude but this kind of discussion is not acceptable in the workplace. How unprofessional!

I have actually caused a massive family fallout because my “auntie” (Another term I use loosely – Uncle’s second wife) had put on her Facebook status that she was looking forward to “going to bed with Mr Grey”. I commented, in a totally innocent and humourous way, with, “It’s filth!” – I assumed she knew me well enough to laugh it off. She said that I must have read it, to know that. Fair enough. I responded with, “Nah, I just work with a bunch of old pervs. Who knew so many people in England can read?!” My rationale for the first part of the comment should be obvious from the previous paragraph and the second part – well, it does seem that you never see anyone reading around here unless it’s the next big thing (Twilight, Hunger Games, Harry Potter). I am genuinely saddened that the written word is slowly being phased out.

Anyway, she reacted almost instantly, saying that I had offended her and a lot of other people. Promptly removing and blocking me on Facebook. She didn’t even give me chance to explain! Talk about immature… I mean, remove my comment if it offends you, but there’s simply no need to block me! I put something on my status about people who aren’t even family, they just married into the family, and how they need to earn respect, it isn’t just given to them. Probably shouldn’t have said it in hindsight but I needed to rant (and I’m 20 years younger than her!) but it caused a massive problem, the uncle has fallen out with me too and my Mum (his sister) has been shunned by the looks of it. I apologised for my status afterwards but it hasn’t changed anything. I won’t apologise for my comment as it obviously wasn’t aimed at her and it was obviously a joke!

No skin off my nose, they were hardly family anyway, they never made an effort and we very rarely see them.

So yes, I’m not a fan of the 50 Shades of Grey books. They’re just not my cup of tea and I don’t think the world needs another poor excuse for literature! Why don’t people look to the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Bret Easton Ellis, J.D. Salinger, or even the classics like Dickens, the Bronte sisters, Mark Twain, and what about good old Shakespeare, and William Blake, and Tennyson?!

I will stop ranting eventually, I promise!

For future reference, I will soon be posting about the Olympics, niobium, intelligence, typos, and feminism! Keep checking back!



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A Classic, Ruined

Well, I know it’s been a while since I last blogged (is that a word?!) but I don’t have an excuse – I’m just lazy and I kind of didn’t have anything to say!

So I went to the cinema on Friday to see the new Woman in Black movie with Daniel Radcliffe (AKA Harry Potter). In all honesty I was kind of dreading it anyway but I had to go and see how it was.

Let me explain my point of view. I took Drama at both GCSE and A Level and so the theatre is an important part of my life. I love film, don’t get me wrong, but The Woman in black in particular was such a huge part of my life. I saw it for the first time during my GCSE Drama days, we had to do our coursework on it and it’s the reason I love theatre so much!

The theatre production is amazing, there’s literally only two actors on a plain stage with a coat stand and a big wicker basket and that’s just about all there is. There’s no scenic backdrop and no elaborate costuming – it’s so empty and almost bland. This is one of the reasons I loved it so much! It didn’t need the amazing scenery, costumes or all-star cast; the story spoke for itself. The use of mime and gesture was amazing, with just a few sound effects the audience were cativated and felt as thought they were right there in the thick of it. I sought it out a couple of years ago so that I could take Mr R&R on our anniversary (he took GCSE Drama too and saw the play a few years before me). It was just as riveting and I was scared out of my wits!

As you’ll know if you regularly read my blog, I don’t adapt too well to change and I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so when I saw the trailer for the movie, I was frowning so much I’ll probably need botox!

We sat down for the first showing (opening day, first show of the day) and I foolishly expected the theatre to be just about empty at 11.30am on a Friday but it was practically jam-packed! We had been talking to some guys dressed in Star Wars costumes in the foyer (I did the Star Trek hand signal thing – he wasn’t impressed!) and so we didn’t get the optimum seats, so we were already off to a bad start!

Anyway, the movie started and within 30 seconds I was ready to walk out. I felt sick with dread, which is a bit of an extreme reaction, in honesty, and the opening scene had nothing at all to do with the original story that I knew.

I feel that I ought to put a spoiler alert, but I wouldn’t recommend anyone going to see it, so I won’t.

There were three little girls playing with dolls and having a tea party. They randomly stopped and jumped out of the window – the frown line started.

The movie progressed a little bit and I though I’d give it a chance to redeem itself. But then, there was a scene where Kipps was having dinner with Sam Daily and his wife (another pointless character) and she started “channelling” her dead son and carved a hanging woman into the table with a knife – the frown line gets deeper.

Kipps is in Eel Marsh House and is feeling uneasy. He can’t open the door to one of the rooms, fair enough, I’m liking the camera angles and stuff and think, “ooh, they’re going back to the story”, but then he looks through the window and all the dead children from Crythin Gifford are in the garden, looking at him! Pair this up with the Woman being in the basement of Jerome’s office when Lucy sets herself on fire and the frown line is starting to engulf my face!

When Elizabeth (Sam Daily’s wife) talks to Kipps in the graveyard and starts saying, in a child’s voice, “she made us do it” (or something to that effect) I couldn’t stand it any longer and walked out.

I was distraught. I was trembling with anger and I felt like crying. A story which was such an important part of my life, that gave me goosebumps and made me passionate about drama, had been ruined and turned into nothing more than a generic supernatural “horror” movie like Darkness Falls or something!

So I don’t know how it ended, and to be honest, I don’t care – I wish I’d never seen it because now, I have to go to London to see the play again, ASAP, to try to erase this horrific tragedy from my memory. AND!! I think I need botox now. Thanks. I’m only 23!!

I’m really sorry to be such an old moaner, it just really upset me!



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Breaking Dawn Pt.1

So yesterday we went to see Breaking Dawn: part 1. We had a few hours to kill before basketball and we’d end up watching it at some point anyway…

First, let me just say that I loved the books – they weren’t written particularly well but I enjoyed reading them – I think it’s a good concept.

I enjoyed the first three movies, too, if I’m honest. New Moon wasn’t a favourite but that’s because I’m firmly NOT Team Jacob – not particularly Team Edward either, but I just don’t like Jacob, he’s a sleaze and forces himself onto Bella. I also think that Taylor Lautner over-enunciates and although he’s getting slightly better, not the best actor. On that note, I think that the way he speaks isn’t realistic – although that’s down to Stephanie Meyer, the script is lifted right out of the books and she writes like a teenager, you can certainly tell she’s not a professional writer – people just don’t talk like that in real life! The casting wasn’t very good from the start, I don’t really rate any of the main actors. Robert Pattinson plays Edward in a way which is difficult to watch. I know that he was meant to be slightly pained in the first movie, due to his confusion over Bella, but it doesn’t really fit anymore. He looks wooden and in pain, too much like Jasper (who I think it suits very well!) Kristen is getting better, and prettier, but I think she’s very wooden too. I think that as the audience, we are meant to be able to connect with the main characters, and I don’t feel that we do.

Anyway… on to the movie… The best bits, in my humble opinion, were the close-ups of the dress. Carolina Herrera did really well there. I wasn’t a fan of the front – a bit like a leotard – but the back was exquisite! I also liked the very normal way that Bella and Edward just spent time playing chess and such on their honeymoon – I know it was symbolic and a bit of a tongue-in-cheek way of saying that they were’t having sex so they sat playing chess (boring?), blah, blah…

The dream wedding was just obvious and amateur, we knew as soon as it began that it was a dream and it looked as though it had just been picked from a schoolkid’s movie project!

The wolf  “conversation” was like a scene from the Power Rangers or Spyro the Dragon… Great if it was a kid’s movie but I think in this, it was just terrible…  The venom going through the body, encasing the veins and heart etc, that was just strange and seemed a bit irrelevent – they could have done so much with the adaptation but they copped out with all the CGI!

I personally don’t think it needed to be split into two movies… they just wanted to do a Harry Potter and get more money… There were too many flashbacks and dream/subconscious sequences, almost as if they didn’t actually have enough storyline to fill the time…

All in all, I was sorely disappointed – I had been excited to see it and I felt that it had so much promise – they could have done anything, but they didn’t.

I hope they bring back Catherine Hardwicke or David Slade as director. Bill Condon ruined the movie and might have even ruined the Twilight brand! It didn’t seem to fit with the others. The end credits too, they were atrocious! They seemed distinctly Tarantino-esque, almost comic book like, which lowered the tone quite significantly.

Will I still go to see the next one? Yes, unfortunately, because although I don’t want to put any more money into the franchise, I have to see it end.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see… and hope it gets better!



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