Tag Archives: twilight

50 Shades of Porn?

I know I’m a little late with this topic (DELAY!!) but I have had strong feelings about this for quite a while now and thought it was time to put them out there.

It seems that everyone is talking about the new “must read” trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey. Now, I haven’t read them myself so if you think that means I have no right to an opinion, please leave now, because you’re not going to like what I have to say!

From what I’ve heard, from everyone who’s read them (which is just about everyone I come into contact with!) it seems that they are poorly written. I can’t say either way, because as I’ve said, I haven’t read them. They’re not my kind of thing. Aside from them being amateurish in writing style, it seems that they have no literary value. The story is said to be lacking and a phrase I have heard on more than one occasion is, “It’s basically housewife porn”.

Now forgive me for my opinions here but I can’t help but think that if a man walked around with a porno magazine in his hands, telling anyone who’ll listen how much he’s enjoying it and especially likes the bondage parts, he’d be arrested! I think it’s just the same.

I worked, in my last job, with a lady (I use the term very loosely) who was easily in her late 50s, maybe even early 60s, and she would not shut up about it. Comments she actually said were, “I had to sit on a towel because [I’m not going to type it – use your imagination]” and “I was getting myself all worked up reading it at lunchtime, I had to put it down”. Now, I’m sorry if I’m a prude but this kind of discussion is not acceptable in the workplace. How unprofessional!

I have actually caused a massive family fallout because my “auntie” (Another term I use loosely – Uncle’s second wife) had put on her Facebook status that she was looking forward to “going to bed with Mr Grey”. I commented, in a totally innocent and humourous way, with, “It’s filth!” – I assumed she knew me well enough to laugh it off. She said that I must have read it, to know that. Fair enough. I responded with, “Nah, I just work with a bunch of old pervs. Who knew so many people in England can read?!” My rationale for the first part of the comment should be obvious from the previous paragraph and the second part – well, it does seem that you never see anyone reading around here unless it’s the next big thing (Twilight, Hunger Games, Harry Potter). I am genuinely saddened that the written word is slowly being phased out.

Anyway, she reacted almost instantly, saying that I had offended her and a lot of other people. Promptly removing and blocking me on Facebook. She didn’t even give me chance to explain! Talk about immature… I mean, remove my comment if it offends you, but there’s simply no need to block me! I put something on my status about people who aren’t even family, they just married into the family, and how they need to earn respect, it isn’t just given to them. Probably shouldn’t have said it in hindsight but I needed to rant (and I’m 20 years younger than her!) but it caused a massive problem, the uncle has fallen out with me too and my Mum (his sister) has been shunned by the looks of it. I apologised for my status afterwards but it hasn’t changed anything. I won’t apologise for my comment as it obviously wasn’t aimed at her and it was obviously a joke!

No skin off my nose, they were hardly family anyway, they never made an effort and we very rarely see them.

So yes, I’m not a fan of the 50 Shades of Grey books. They’re just not my cup of tea and I don’t think the world needs another poor excuse for literature! Why don’t people look to the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Bret Easton Ellis, J.D. Salinger, or even the classics like Dickens, the Bronte sisters, Mark Twain, and what about good old Shakespeare, and William Blake, and Tennyson?!

I will stop ranting eventually, I promise!

For future reference, I will soon be posting about the Olympics, niobium, intelligence, typos, and feminism! Keep checking back!



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Breaking Dawn Pt.1

So yesterday we went to see Breaking Dawn: part 1. We had a few hours to kill before basketball and we’d end up watching it at some point anyway…

First, let me just say that I loved the books – they weren’t written particularly well but I enjoyed reading them – I think it’s a good concept.

I enjoyed the first three movies, too, if I’m honest. New Moon wasn’t a favourite but that’s because I’m firmly NOT Team Jacob – not particularly Team Edward either, but I just don’t like Jacob, he’s a sleaze and forces himself onto Bella. I also think that Taylor Lautner over-enunciates and although he’s getting slightly better, not the best actor. On that note, I think that the way he speaks isn’t realistic – although that’s down to Stephanie Meyer, the script is lifted right out of the books and she writes like a teenager, you can certainly tell she’s not a professional writer – people just don’t talk like that in real life! The casting wasn’t very good from the start, I don’t really rate any of the main actors. Robert Pattinson plays Edward in a way which is difficult to watch. I know that he was meant to be slightly pained in the first movie, due to his confusion over Bella, but it doesn’t really fit anymore. He looks wooden and in pain, too much like Jasper (who I think it suits very well!) Kristen is getting better, and prettier, but I think she’s very wooden too. I think that as the audience, we are meant to be able to connect with the main characters, and I don’t feel that we do.

Anyway… on to the movie… The best bits, in my humble opinion, were the close-ups of the dress. Carolina Herrera did really well there. I wasn’t a fan of the front – a bit like a leotard – but the back was exquisite! I also liked the very normal way that Bella and Edward just spent time playing chess and such on their honeymoon – I know it was symbolic and a bit of a tongue-in-cheek way of saying that they were’t having sex so they sat playing chess (boring?), blah, blah…

The dream wedding was just obvious and amateur, we knew as soon as it began that it was a dream and it looked as though it had just been picked from a schoolkid’s movie project!

The wolf¬† “conversation” was like a scene from the Power Rangers or Spyro the Dragon… Great if it was a kid’s movie but I think in this, it was just terrible…¬† The venom going through the body, encasing the veins and heart etc, that was just strange and seemed a bit irrelevent – they could have done so much with the adaptation but they copped out with all the CGI!

I personally don’t think it needed to be split into two movies… they just wanted to do a Harry Potter and get more money… There were too many flashbacks and dream/subconscious sequences, almost as if they didn’t actually have enough storyline to fill the time…

All in all, I was sorely disappointed – I had been excited to see it and I felt that it had so much promise – they could have done anything, but they didn’t.

I hope they bring back Catherine Hardwicke or David Slade as director. Bill Condon ruined the movie and might have even ruined the Twilight brand! It didn’t seem to fit with the others. The end credits too, they were atrocious! They seemed distinctly Tarantino-esque, almost comic book like, which lowered the tone quite significantly.

Will I still go to see the next one? Yes, unfortunately, because although I don’t want to put any more money into the franchise, I have to see it end.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see… and hope it gets better!



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