I Haven’t Abandoned You!

I’ve got two new blogs:

One is focussed on my love for painting my nails – http://rrnails.blogspot.co.uk/

And one, which is my favourite and has become something of an obsession, is discussing my favourite topic in the world – my faith! My Saviour; my Redeemer; my Lord; my King. Jesus Christ, Himself! – http://nailsofgrace.blogspot.co.uk/

I’m keeping this blog for general posts, but that’s what I’ve been up to!

~R&R

Let’s Go Round Again

Guess what?

I have a new job… again!

I now work for a well-known animal charity. I work in the National Control Centre, taking calls from members of the public as well as vets and other professionals, regarding the welfare of animals, nationwide.

I love animals (well, most animals!) and so needless to say, I’m a little concerned that I might get a little over-emotional and struggle to leave it at work.

I’ll keep you posted! I think I’ll enjoy it and stay here for a while now, at least until I find my feet (and hopefully a way into teaching!)

~R&R

Halloween

As some of you may know, I don’t celebrate Halloween.

Before you click on that little X in the corner of my tab, don’t! Let me explain my reasons and you might understant my point of view. It worked for my uncle (not that uncle!)

I am Christian, and it the official line is “it glorifies all that is evil” – I do accept this, but there’s other reasons too… Please allow me to elaborate.:-

• There’s the begging thing. It’s the same with the “Penny for the Guy” craze (which used to only happen during the first 5 days in November when I was a child, now I see them outside supermarkets from mid-October!) At the end of the day, I won’t encourage my children to go out begging strangers for money or sweets. I will buy them candy, chocolate and give them pocket money, they don’t need to act like paupers!
• We teach children not to talk to or accept sweets from strangers and then one night a year, we encourage them to dress up and go knocking on the doors of strangers (who could be convicted paedophiles) and ask them for sweets or money. Some children aren’t even accompanied by an adult – I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. Plus, it’s giving them mixed messages, and how do you know that those homemade cupcakes (or even those packaged sweets) aren’t laced with drugs?!
• Why anyone would want to dress their child like a demon, a zombie, or a witch is beyond me – surely children should still be innocent and not even know about these things yet?! When I was a child I would dress as a princess or a ballerina – not on Halloween, just in general. I didn’t even know that there were such things as zombies! This age of innocence is so precious, why let it escape too soon?
• I believe in these things. I believe that demons and witches exist and they’re dangrous. It’s not just a bit of harmless fun and I don’t want to promote it. To me, it’s just like telling someone how to make a Ouija Board – they’ll become interested and then a huge can of worms has been opened. Before you know it, they’re in too deep, have been possessed or may even be dead.
• It scares the crap out of me! I know that it’s real and it terrifies me!

A friend commented that he didn’t accept that witches exist. Well I believe that they do. They might not necessarily have pointy hats and broomsticks but there are very real witchdoctors and Shamans who cast spells and make potions and commune with spirits… In this country there are hundreds, if not thousands, of mediums and spiritualists who also claim to commune with the dead and that terrifies me too! I totally believe in it, I just don’t think it’s something that should be messed with. Its dangerous…

In the Bible, it says that:

• “Men and women among you who act as mediums or psychics must be put to death by stoning. They are guilty of a capital offense.” (Leviticus 20:27)
• ‘Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.‘ (Leviticus 19:31)
• Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the LORD your God (Deuteronomy 18:10-13)
• When men tell you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? (Isaiah 8:19)
• For there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and people. He is the man Christ Jesus. (1 Timothy 2:5)

This is reason enough for me to feel uncomfortable, and I shouldn’t have to explain myself to friends, family, especially not my employers (but that’s another story). Why is it so difficult for some people to accept that I simply do not want anything to do with Halloween, and that I feel physically sick and uncomfortable even discussing their “ways around” it. For example, witches are not folklore – they’re real and dangerous. Regardless of whether it is Halloween or not, I refuse to participate in any witch related activities (decorating witch hats with the children at work – apparently witches are folklore so it shouldn’t be taboo for my beliefs! I’m sorry, who made you the keeper of what I believe in?!)

Anyway, I just thought I’d share. Obviously my opinions and beliefs won’t be for everyone and I’m not suggesting that all Christians feel the same way as I do. I’m just sharing what I feel!

If you are going out Trick or Treating for Halloween, please be careful and vigilant. It’s not just a bit of fun!

~R&R

P.S. If you’re interested, here’s a message I received on 25 October 2008 about the history of Halloween. I think the most important part of the whole thing is the last part: “A final note, is the fact that Halloween is the high holy day of the satanic church. So it still bears a very dark side indeed, even today!”

As our children get ready to go “Trick-or-Treating” let us learn a little about the day “Halloween.”
Therefore we will look at a ancient pagan ritual, that is still practiced today. It’s original name was “Samhain,” however we know it as “Halloween.”
“Samhain” began at sundown on October 31st and extended into the following day. According to the Celtic pagan religion, known as Druidism, the spirits of those who had died roamed the earth on “Samhain” evening. This night was much feared by the Celtic people, and they sought to ward off the spirits with offerings of food and drink.
The dark side of this event was the fact that the Celts built bonfires, at so called sacred sights, and sometimes preformed rituals involving HUMAN and/or Animal Sacrifices, to honor Druid gods. “Samhain” was abandoned only when the people converted to Christianity during the very early middle ages. Now during that period of time the Church often incorporated modified versions of ancient pagan rituals in order to win over converts.
For example, Pope Gregory IV successfully replaced “Samhain” with All Saints Day, which fell on November 1, thus the evening of October 31 became known as All Hallows’ Even, which was later shortened to Halloween.
All Souls Day, as it is known as today, is a Holy Day in the Roman Catholic, and Anglican Churches, honoring those who have passed away.
Some aspects of this ancient pagan tradition thought to be incompatible with Christianity, were linked with folk beliefs about evil spirits.
In British folklore, small magical fairies became associated with Halloween mischief. The jack-o-lantern, originally carved from a turnip, originated in medieval Scotland. A small candle would be put into the turnip, that had a scary face carved on it. This was to be lit at night and displayed to scare off evil spirits which they feared roamed about that night.
Between the 15th & 17th Centuries, Europe was seized by a hysterical fear of witches, who were thought to ride flying brooms and to assume the form of black cats. Thus the images of witches and black cats soon joined other European superstitions as symbols of Halloween.
In the 19th & early 20th Centuries, young people often observed Halloween by perpetrating minor acts of vandalism, such as overturning sheds or breaking windows. Beginning inthe 1930’s, Halloween mischief gradually transformed into the modern ritual of trick-or-treating, though some still choose to perform acts of vandalism on Halloween still today.

A final note, is the fact that Halloween is the high holy day of the satanic church. So it still bears a very dark side indeed, even today!

References: ( Encarta Reference Library 2008, and theEncyclopedia Britannica 2006. )

A Little Update

Hello 🙂
Ok, ok, I know. I have a HUGE apology to make – I’ve been MIA for quite some time now and I don’t really have an excuse. I guess that working life just doesn’t suit me; I’m so tired all the time!

My last post (here) was quite a heated rant about my feelings on the 50 Shades of Grey = porn topic. The family situation hasn’t gotten any better from that point of view, although my Grandma has attempted to smooth things over (didn’t work! I pretty much had a panic attack and my beloved uncle didn’t even bat an eyelid. So much for familial concern, even if there’s no love!)

So anyway. what’s happened since then? Well, as you know I left my temporary job in the hospital Pharmacy in July and started an “admin” job for the NHS in August. I use the term “admin” very loosly as it was pretty much a factory job – you can read the basic jist of it here  (with another apology for not blogging as often as I should!) I handed my notice in on 28th September, and just never went back as I had holiday and flexi-leave to take – they were a bit funny about that and tried telling me I had to give 4 weeks notice, even though I’d not even been there for two months yet!

On 8th October I started a job as a Room Leader / Senior Nursery Nurse at a private day nursery. My interview was amazing and I was so excited I could have cried. They told me that I would be able to do whatever I wanted, basically have free reign, and make my room the way I wanted it. I was excited about potentially my first experience as a paid EYP (Early Years Professional – the graduate-level status I earned) as they seemed excited about the fact that I had EYPS and their currnt EYP was on maternity leave. They offered me the job there and then and I was in shock – I didn’t even ask about the hours or the pay!

When I went in to sign the paperwork (no contract though) and fill out my CRB forms, I was told that it was only 32 hours per week and £7 per hour. She said it’s pretty much the same as what I was on before – it wasn’t. I was on £7.20 per hour and working 37.5 hours per week – quite a difference when you do the maths! I was gutted but it wasn’t about the money – I thought I had found my dream job, one that I could have been happy in and stayed for a long time.

On my first day, I knew I had made a mistake. There was no scope for change and no mention of my EYP status – the manager/owner keeps referring to it as “Early Years Practitioner” – anyone who works in the early years is a practitioner. I worked for two years, seperate from my degree, to earn PROFESSIONAL status! It was really demeaning.

I’ve been there for a little over two weeks and I absolutely hate it – I just don’t fit in. The setting is sub-par and they’re very challenging when I want to change anything. I feel like I’m back at school; being told off and not being allowed to do things. I genuinely feel that they’re clipping my wings and I’m not being given the opportunity to work to my full potential!

So now I’m applying for another job. Again! It seems that I keep on coming back to teaching. I always wanted to be a teacher and due to some confusion over my A Level results, I didn’t take the univerity place I’d been offered, instead opting for one on a whim, which I hated! Hopefully I can do some kind of graduate teacher training programme when the new schemes are opened up mid-November. Until then, I’m just applying for teaching assistant positions (I prefer school working, I like the routine).

I was hoping to try to stick this job out for at last 6 months, to see if it got better, and to have something decent on my CV, but I’ve been losing sleep over it for the past three nights and I feel ill at the thought of going back in – nothing is worth that.

I really appreciate you letting me rant at you all and just get it all out!

Hopefully soon I’ll have something positive to blog about!

~ R&R

 

50 Shades of Porn?

I know I’m a little late with this topic (DELAY!!) but I have had strong feelings about this for quite a while now and thought it was time to put them out there.

It seems that everyone is talking about the new “must read” trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey. Now, I haven’t read them myself so if you think that means I have no right to an opinion, please leave now, because you’re not going to like what I have to say!

From what I’ve heard, from everyone who’s read them (which is just about everyone I come into contact with!) it seems that they are poorly written. I can’t say either way, because as I’ve said, I haven’t read them. They’re not my kind of thing. Aside from them being amateurish in writing style, it seems that they have no literary value. The story is said to be lacking and a phrase I have heard on more than one occasion is, “It’s basically housewife porn”.

Now forgive me for my opinions here but I can’t help but think that if a man walked around with a porno magazine in his hands, telling anyone who’ll listen how much he’s enjoying it and especially likes the bondage parts, he’d be arrested! I think it’s just the same.

I worked, in my last job, with a lady (I use the term very loosely) who was easily in her late 50s, maybe even early 60s, and she would not shut up about it. Comments she actually said were, “I had to sit on a towel because [I’m not going to type it – use your imagination]” and “I was getting myself all worked up reading it at lunchtime, I had to put it down”. Now, I’m sorry if I’m a prude but this kind of discussion is not acceptable in the workplace. How unprofessional!

I have actually caused a massive family fallout because my “auntie” (Another term I use loosely – Uncle’s second wife) had put on her Facebook status that she was looking forward to “going to bed with Mr Grey”. I commented, in a totally innocent and humourous way, with, “It’s filth!” – I assumed she knew me well enough to laugh it off. She said that I must have read it, to know that. Fair enough. I responded with, “Nah, I just work with a bunch of old pervs. Who knew so many people in England can read?!” My rationale for the first part of the comment should be obvious from the previous paragraph and the second part – well, it does seem that you never see anyone reading around here unless it’s the next big thing (Twilight, Hunger Games, Harry Potter). I am genuinely saddened that the written word is slowly being phased out.

Anyway, she reacted almost instantly, saying that I had offended her and a lot of other people. Promptly removing and blocking me on Facebook. She didn’t even give me chance to explain! Talk about immature… I mean, remove my comment if it offends you, but there’s simply no need to block me! I put something on my status about people who aren’t even family, they just married into the family, and how they need to earn respect, it isn’t just given to them. Probably shouldn’t have said it in hindsight but I needed to rant (and I’m 20 years younger than her!) but it caused a massive problem, the uncle has fallen out with me too and my Mum (his sister) has been shunned by the looks of it. I apologised for my status afterwards but it hasn’t changed anything. I won’t apologise for my comment as it obviously wasn’t aimed at her and it was obviously a joke!

No skin off my nose, they were hardly family anyway, they never made an effort and we very rarely see them.

So yes, I’m not a fan of the 50 Shades of Grey books. They’re just not my cup of tea and I don’t think the world needs another poor excuse for literature! Why don’t people look to the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Bret Easton Ellis, J.D. Salinger, or even the classics like Dickens, the Bronte sisters, Mark Twain, and what about good old Shakespeare, and William Blake, and Tennyson?!

I will stop ranting eventually, I promise!

For future reference, I will soon be posting about the Olympics, niobium, intelligence, typos, and feminism! Keep checking back!

~R&R

New Job… Again

I can’t remember the last time I posted a blog (I’m really sorry about that, if anyone’s reading this!) So I can’t remember if I told you I was working at the pharmacy at my local hospital.

Well, that job was just temporary from the end of April to the end of July and in honesty, I was quite ready to leave! I started my new job on August 1st and my first week was great – I actually found myself looking forward to work the next day.

My new job was advertised as an admin role. I like admin, I like the menial little jobs that everyone else hates, such as filing, organising, typing, shredding and laminating. I thought it would be perfect and I was so excited about having a “proper” job with a desk and responsibilities, where my manager treats me as an adult and lets me use my initiative.

Basically I work in a factory. Yes I have my own desk and a computer but I very rarely get chance to use them! Most of the day is spent in a tiny little room with a big horrible machine that folds letters and puts them into envelopes. This machine would be genius if it actually worked, but alas! It doesn’t. Not very well anyway. There’s always something wrong with it. Some days I have to go use the franking machine too. I basically stuff envelopes, count them, put them in the box with the relevant post-code and then count them again. If the numbers don’t add up, I count them again! I do this every day and once a week I have to bag all the letters up into their corresponding Royal Mail bags (which stink and are the dirtiest, grossest things EVER!) and then wait for the postman to come the next day, for it all to start again.

I wouldn’t go as far as to say I hate it but I am not enjoying it. I’ve started going home with such headaches, too. I think it’s because the room literally is smaller than my bathroom and it has a tiny window, which only opens about an inch, and the machine is so loud that the people in the office outside my room have to close the door and shut me in.

It could be that or it could be my new colleagues, who started off really nice and I actually thought we could become friends – a massive feat for me, I generally don’t like people and I can’t cope with incessant chatting about boys and fake-tans and Geordie Shore or The Only Way is Essex or whatever else girls around here are obsessed with. I enjoy my own company and I don’t tend to miss people. So I was really pleased that we seemed to be getting on with (or tolerating) each other. This week though, a couple of them have really started grating on me. I’ll probably go into more detail later on – it could probably use its own post.

I’m actually missing my Pharmacy job and the people I was so desperate to escape from!

I’m really sorry that I’ve started using my blog as a ranting post! I promise I’ll try to make it more upbeat (but not before I FINALLY get around to posting about my biggest pet peeve at the moment… 50 Shades of Grey)

I really appreciate you guys, thank you for letting me rant!

~R&R

Nails, Nails, Nails!

So I’ve gotten a little obsessed with painting my nails…

I’ve always loved my nail polishes and I have been painting my nails for longer than I can remember – I think it has something to do with the fact that I have so many allergies and skin conditions, I wasn’t allowed to play with pretty bubble baths, face masks and make up parties, etc, so I painted my nails!

I have such flimsy nails and they take forever to grow. When they do grow, they bend, snap and split really easily – I also get dents in my nails (If anyone knows why this is, please let me know! I always assumed it was due to my eczema – sometimes as a child it would get under my nails and they would fall off – I still don’t have cuticles on those fingers!)

So I work in the pharmacy department of a hospital and the policy is hazy at best. On one hand we were told we can wear nail polish, as we don’t go up to the wards, but on the other hand we’ve been told that we can’t wear nail polish. We’ve also heard that we can wear clear nail polish, which raises even more questions!

I decided that until I am told directly, from my manager, I’m going to continue to wear it. Today I’ve had bright pink nails with my ring fingernail yellow with pink flicks. Yesterday I had a basic French manicure. I’ve also had cherries, rainbow pastel colours, bumble bees, ladybirds and more! It’s gotten to the point where I’m switching my nail polish every evening! I don’t know if that’s good for my nails or not?!

So I just thought I’d warn you that I might be showing photos of my nails sometimes, but I’ve been using my phone camera and it’s not amazing quality!

Also, I finish this job soon and move to another in admin, so hopefully that’ll be better. Nail polish and otherwise!!

~ R&R

Am I Past It?!

So my Mum and Grandma were chatting the other day, and they were talking about family or something (I wasn’t there, my Mum told me afterwards).

They recalled how Grandma’s mum had promised to stay alive to see her first great-grandson, and died soon after my brother was born.

My Grandma then remarked, “Well, I’ve given up on great-grandkids, our R&R’s knocking on a bit!” – Thanks, Grandma – I’m only 23!

The truth is, even though I am only 23, I am worried that I’m letting the chance of having children pass me by. I’d always planned on being settled in my career, married and having had at least one child by this age. Unfortunately, life doesn’t seem to have any regard for your personal plans, and I am unmarried, childless and without a career.

Both my mother and my grandmother had problems and had to have hysterectomies at relatively young ages, and I believe that my Grandma’s mother died of ovarian cancer. My biological father’s mother had cervical cancer (although I don’t know much more about this side of the family).

So, I guess you can’t blame me for worrying. Some days it gets so bad that I actually convince myself that I’m barren. It just seems that it’s guaranteed for me to struggle to have children, since I so desperately want them! I have known all my life that the reason I am here on this Earth is to be a mother. It’s the only thing I know without a doubt that I will be good at, and it’s the only job I will be able to do – all other jobs interest me for the time being but I know in my heart that they’re not “forever jobs”. It also seems that many Christian couples (in my church, at least) have had struggles with fertility.

I don’t know – I’m not even old enough to go for my first smear test; you have to be 25 in England, unless there are problems – so I guess we’ll wait and see…

Grandma did get me worried though! And I don’t know why she’s so adamant about it right now anyway, she knows I need to be married before I even think about realistically having children (and preferably, settled in a job and house!)

~ R&R

How Long ’til Retirement?

Well seeing as I haven’t been here to update you all, you won’t know that I’ve got a job. It’s just temporary for 3 months (until the end of July) but it’s full time and I’m exhausted!

I leave the house at 7.40am and get home at 6.30pm – I’m grateful that it’s summer because I’d hate to be going and returning in the dark!

My job isn’t too difficult – I work in the Pharmacy Department of my local hospital – but it’s strenuous. I’m on my feet all day and having to carry and lift heavy boxes (difficult for a weakling like me!) so it’s physically draining – I come home and it takes all my energy just to have a shower and eat my dinner. I’m often in bed just trying to keep my eyes open from 8pm until an appropriate “adult” bedtime!

It seems that most other people are fine with full-time working, and can even go to the gym or out with friends after work – I don’t know how they do it! Apparently I’ll get used to it but it certainly doesn’t seem like it at the moment!

I’m enjoying the job itself, but the people are difficult. It’s mostly women, and there are obvious “cliques” so there’s lots of bitching and gossiping. I’ve taken to putting away the stock, the storeroom staff seem much more laid back and the atmosphere is much nicer – I enjoy the monotony and solitude – but it has become another source of bitching as they think I’m just “skiving”. It bothers me that nobody says anything to my face but they’re obviously dicussing me behind my back.

9 more weeks and I’m done there! I can’t wait!

I just do’t think I’m cut out for full time working, unless I can be alone, or in charge!

~R&R

Pinterest and Weddings!

I joined Pinterest!

I am constantly boomarking webpages to come back to later, and then forgetting all about them, so I thought this would be perfect for me.

The only problem is, it’s so addictive!

I started off with around four Boards, and they were just the general ones Pinterest suggest: “Dream Home”; “Just Things I Like”; “Fitness”; and “Recipes”. Needless to say, I quickly added more and more and now I have 24 Boards, and counting!

My boards are all still very general, and unoriginal in terms of names, ranging from: DIY and crafts; fashion inspiration; pretty shoes, boots, hairstyles, handbags, nail art and makeup; movies, books and music I love; places I’d love to visit; cameras; gift ideas; eczema and allergy things; beach body inspiration; and the obvious ones such as cute animals, engagement rings and wedding ideas!

Wedding? I hear you ponder! No, you haven’t missed a surprise announcement. Mr R&R is still only Mr R&R on here and not in an official capacity! The truth is much more mundane, and slightly more disturbing, if you agree with certain peoples’ opinions…

I have been planning my wedding since I was a child. Probably aroud 6-7 years old! Mr R&R knows and I’ve even shared parts of my Big Wedding Book with him (yes I have a BWB!)

The official line in this regard is: I’m allergic to just about all metals. My dermatologist has said that I should be OK with either platinum or stainless steel. I have spoken with Mr R&R and suggested that we: a) don’t bother with rings; b) have plastic, wooden or other kinds of rings; c) just have a plain stainless steel ring.

His response was firm, but very sweet – he has the perfect proposal already planned and it needs a ring. He’s very traditional and wants to do it properly. If that means we have to save up so that he can afford a platinum ring, that’s what we’ll do. If that means we’ll be waiting a few years as he’s still at university until July and has acquired lots of debts, so be it.

As long as we’re together and I know it’s forever, I’m happy. It’ll happen when it happens, and by then I’ll have already planned just about everything! And yes, you’ll be the first to know!

Now I’m off to look at more wedding favours!

~R&R